adulthood is just an endless stream of phone calls you don’t want to make but have to
someone’s building an actual Krusty Krab less than 6 miles from where i live
no really, it’s in construction
it’s coming along nicely
they put up the flags
These kids are going places, maybe not college but places…
one time i got a sample from the tea store at the mall and as i walked away the guy said “tea you later” and then his coworker smacked him
April 30th …
you know what that means?
a guy walked into the board room and said
"hi sweetheart if you could fix me up a coffee real quick im meeting with the regional reports manager in like five minutes, thanks darling"
and i just stared at him and coldly said
"i am the regional reports manager"
we are now twenty minutes into this board meeting and i dont think i’ve ever seen a man look so embarrassed and afraid in my whole life
i’mS CMREAING I WAS SLEEPING IN THE CAR DURING A ROAD TRIP AND AS I WOKE UP I LOOKED UP AT THIS IMAGE ON THE TRUCK NEXT TO US
all you girls out there had that stage where you played online dress up games dont even lie
what do you mean had
what do you mean girls
Housecat meets bobcat
“why are you trapped in there, tiny orange bobcat”
omg the kitty knocking on the window
I ship it
An overall recap of the MTV Music Awards.
So I was going through old papers and found a packet full of questions that my kindergarten teacher apparently asked us.
Kenny, if you’re somewhere reading this, teach us the secret of reaching enlightenment.
Are we not going to talk about the fact that Fred and Georgie
We should all stop using this website.
If you are the older twin, call your little sibling a few times a day and be like “when I was your age” and then describe what you did 7 minutes ago
i was talking to my friend about the similarities between gryffindor and slytherin, and he told me to come up with a concise way to explain the differences between the two.
so i told him, “if you make a gryffindor mad and they storm out on you, they’ll get a lot of satisfaction out of slamming the door behind them. but a slytherin will leave it wide open, because they’ll get the most satisfaction knowing they made you get up to close it.”